Love Poem Attempt. This probably sucks... alot. Just a warning.

did I seriously fall for you?
did I seriously fall for your front?
I know that I'm young and stupid,
I am still learning.
does that give you an excuse?
does that give you an excuse to use me?
is this a little joke you play on every girl?
is it fair that you mention the other girls when you were with me?
was it necessary to mention her?
was it necessary to compare me to the rest of them?
really, was it right of you to treat me like shit the whole time?
well, at least part of the time.
for the first few minutes it was great.
you actually cared...you actually pretended to care.
you got me comfortable.
you got me to feel safe.
you got me to trust in you.
I still remember every line..lie.. that poured from your lips.
I honestly didn't know you were going to be this way.
I thought you would be better.
remember when you told me you were different?
I'm now putting that together.
you are different...from a gentlemen.
from someone who cares.
someone who gives a damn.
you're different...than who you told me you would be.
thanks to you i can actually walk on my own 2 feet.
I know what i want.
I know what TO look for.
someone who exactly the opposite from you.
and guess what.
I found that.
your exact opposite.
he actually cares.
he doesn't use me like a pair of favorite shoes.
he doesn't treat me like i am nothing, emotionless.
he makes me feel worth something.
he makes me feel beautiful.
something you have NEVER made me feel.
so thank you for using me, thank you for making me cry, thank you for lying to me, and thank you more importantly for letting me feel low.
thank you.

my life.

I was born
like everyone else.
I was raised by parents
like everyone else.
I was taught
like everyone else.
But I twisted everything I learned into what I wanted it to be.

I remember....

I remember my favorite stuffed animal, a cat named Custard, she was the best stuffed animal....until my dog devoured it...
I remember my first dance class...at my first recital I was dancing and eating out of my bag of peanuts and my leotard was very tight and it would bunch up in all the wrong places...
I remember my first kiss...it was from a kid named Austin who was trying to save me from a kid who thought that he was a jedi and stalked me...sometimes when I would piss off this jedi kid he would say "don't make me take out my light sabor"...
I remember when my grandpa came down to visit us after he went through chemo therapy and we were eating fresh picked nectarines and he showed us his toe nails...they all came off...
I remember swings, sand, and slides...one time after a kid jumped off of a swing, I ran infront of it and it hit me in the head and I bled...alot...
I remember the sounds of the ocean, I would run out there in the water and when the tide came in I would run for my life from it...but since I was probably about 5 I didn't run fast enough...it caught up with me...
I remember playing in the backyard with my sister and we pretended we were dinosaurs...
I remember when I would get my sister very mad she would yell at me saying "I HOPE YOU FALL INTO A BOTTOMLESS PIT!"
I remember my first time I slapped a guy for being a jerk...he deserved it...
I remember a time when a boy told me he loved me...he was talking with me and said, "I love you" and I replied with "uhh...I have to go to class...bye!!!" Obviously...he didnt talk to me after that...
I remember when I prank called someone and forgot to block my number...bad idea...
I remember when my sister and I would reinact scences from plays, musicals and movies...those were the only times she would really say I love you with out adding "When you aren't annoying me..."
I remember smoking it up.
I remember giving up.
I remember making it back.

Stan #11

Dear Stan,
I thought I knew you so well; I thought you were someone else. Evidently, I just fell for your front. How long have I been with you for now? Too long. I remember, but you can't. Something is wrong with that. Everytime I am around you, you always mention the other girls, you mention the rest of them. Am I like them? When I get you alone, you still talk about her. You still talk about the things she does, the things she would do. Do I remind you that much of her? God, I sure hope not. You have changed so much since I first met you. You were so good to me, you held me tight, you kissed my nose. You were the greatest thing I have ever had. You showed me how a guy should treat me. You were amazing in the beginning. I could never have imagined to be treated so good, to feel loved, to feel needed but then you changed. You now use me every chance we're alone. You use me infront of your friends. You tell me to keep my mouth shut when we are around people so I am not an embarrassment to you. You just want me on your arm to show the world that you could catch me. That you own me. Well you know what? You don't own me. I am not an object. Evidently, I am worthless to you. I mean nothing. I'm yesterdays newspaper, just throw me out on the curb along with all your other garbage. You would always talk yourself up saying how you are different from all the other guys out here, that you cared more, that you treated girls with more respect but no, you are just like every other guy out there. I thought you were different. Evidently not. The hell did I do wrong? Nothing. Why can't you see all that you were, all that we could have been. Why did you pretend to be someone else? Why were you being fake with me? I was falling for you, I was falling way too hard. What happened to that? You were falling too. What happened to that? What happened to who you used to be? You were so good, you were so grand, but you lied! You blend in with all the people around you, trying to be someone you're not, and you are doing pretty good at it. Can't you see that you are not meant to be some conformist bastard? You're different, well at least you were, but now baby, I am done being used by you, I am done being hurt by you. As I am about to fall in, nothing you can do or say can stop me now, Honey, I hope these words echo in your mind: YOU COULD HAVE SAVED ME FROM DROWNING.

Impulse Deux

Franz: this is a cozy little place, isn't it?
Kate: yeah if you call cozy harboring bacteria and microscopic organisms that will put an end to all human LIFE!!
Franz: Okay, well...how are you?
Kate: I am fine. The ozone layer is still there, I am not dying from radiation from the sun. Slowly I am though, and so are you. You know you can't stop it from happening.
Franz: Oh, okay...where are you from?
Kate: Belmont, Massachusetts. I live at McLean.
Franz: Oh..what is that city like?
Kate: Actually it is not a city. It's what you civilians call an "asylum". I like to call it a nice community of people who think they are animals and their best friends are forks and the paint peeling off of the walls.
Franz: Right. And I am Hitler.
Kate: Seriously? Oh shiz..I better run away, my family are jews!
Franz: Well, alrighty. It was nice meeting you Kate. Have fun with the paint peeling off the walls!
(picks up his stuff and runs out)
Kate: I love shutting annoying guys down. Hmm...Now where is Joey? (Looks at a wall) There's his cousin, Paul!